Stats:
13 Weeks 3 Days
Starting Weight: 135
Current Weight: 136
Issues: None really. My pants are all getting too tight.
Well, I thought I wasn't going to need maternity clothes until a little further down the road, but I was wrong. It really is true: you "show" a lot faster with your second. I woke up a few days ago and glimpsed at myself in the mirror and thought I could suck it in. Nope. So my "pooch" is turning into a little belly. It's still not an obvious pregnancy belly, but it's enough for me to notice it. I'm still not wearing maternity clothes yet. I'm just using the old rubber band to keep the button on my pants connected. I've noticed that a lot of the shirts that I have and that are in fashion right now provide a loose fit around the tummy area, so that helps in the fashion department as well.
As I mentioned last week, I thought I began to feel movement about a week ago. Every day at random times, baby lets me know that it's there. It's not the "big" movements I will be feeling later on down the road, and the flutters are not even as strong as they will be in a few weeks...but because I know what to look for now, I'm feeling very subtle flutters. It's a pretty neat feeling, although right now there's really no pattern to it. I have to be very still, such as lying down or sitting in one place for a while to feel them. It's way cool.
I've decided that I really like my perinatologist, Dr. Kuhlman. I was a mess after finding out that I had Factor V Leiden because all I could think of was how it was going to affect this baby. Because it brought up a lot of thoughts about Brooke, I think that just propelled my emotions and I became very scared. After fretting for two days, I finally called her to just have a few questions answered. I wanted to know why I was only on baby aspirin and if I do develop a clot that would affect the baby (i.e. in the placenta or the cord), would they be able to know? She was so kind in answering my questions. She didn't make me feel dumb at all (like many doctors do) and invited me to bring ANY concerns I have to her. She said I only really need a baby aspirin because I personally have not had any problems with a blood clot and of the seven clotting conditions she tested me for, only 1 came back positive. Even after having a c-section I didn't develop a clot (most people w/this condition are prone to develop them after surgery). She said the baby aspirin should be good to just thin my blood a little bit. As far as my concerns about the baby, she said that there wasn't any problems with Brooke's placenta (it was analyzed after delivery) and she doesn't anticipate any with this baby. However, she said they will be watching the baby's growth and other factors, such as my amniotic fluid levels, very closely in the final two months of my pregnancy. If they detect something abnormal at that time, she said then they would have reason to suspect something wasn't right. I felt very good after talking with her, mostly because she didn't make me feel dumb.
The hardest part about having had a stillbirth is that there are so many unknowns. While Brooke's death was ruled a cord accident, I still feel like there is still so much unknown about what really happened. And the only one who knows is God. I still struggle with losing her, although I know I've come a long way, I will just never be the same again. There's just so many emotions that I can't fully explain after going through something like that.
I felt like I took a dive in my faith walk after that episode. I just had to be reminded that God is in control...not me...not my doctors. There is nothing I can do that will alter His plan for me or this child. He had me reading some scripture in my Daily Bible that just reaffirmed that notion, and I knew He was speaking to me. So after asking forgiveness and expressing a heartfelt cry, I felt much better. To make things even better, He answered some things I have been praying for for a while this week...almost like He was like, "See, I hear you." Not that He has to do that...He's God...but it's so awesome that He loves us enough to do that.
Regular doctor appointment is this Wednesday. I have my next ultrasound with my perinatologist in the beginning to middle of October. Hard to believe....but if the baby cooperates, we will find out if we are expecting a little girl or a little boy at that ultrasound. So exciting. :)
See Me Grow
Sunday, August 31, 2008
Monday, August 25, 2008
12 Weeks
Stats:
12 Weeks 4 Days
Starting Weight: 135
Current Weight: 135
Issues: Just normal pregnancy hormones!
Well, Cody and I are back from our wonderful trip to the White Mountains. It was so nice to be in cooler weather. We got some rain up there and that really made things nice and cool. I had to actually use my sweaters and I had some hot chocolate at night too. I can't really explain how beautiful it all was. I took lots of pictures though. Too bad the fan motor in Cody's truck went out yesterday, so you know what that meant. No A/C in the truck! It wasn't bad for the first 3 hours of the trip because we were in high elevation mountains. But once we got to Phoenix....forget it! What were we doing driving in August in Phoenix with no air? Crazy.
Well, my perinatologist, Dr. Kuhlman, left two messages while I was gone. I had my blood pulled before we left because as I wrote in my last post, she wanted to have my blood tested for any clotting issues. I had seven tests done and it turns out that I have a genetic single mutation known as Factor V Leiden which makes my blood slightly more susceptible to blood clots. This specifically is what I wanted to be tested for because there is a history of blood clots in my family and I have met a few other women on the internet who had stillborn babies and afterwards had their blood tested and they too had this mutation. When I initially met with Dr. Kuhlman, she said that Brooke's umbilical cord possibly was not as strong as it should have been, making it more prone to being compressed and cutting off flow. A problem with the blood flow (i.e. blood clots) through the placenta could have caused this problem. So I don't know FOR SURE that's what happened last time, but it is all making sense to me. She said that right now, I just need to take a baby aspirin once a day to slightly thin my blood. She says there is no need for any other blood thinners at this point, unless I go into pre-term labor or anything like that.
I asked her if having this mutation in my blood means that I should not attempt a VBAC (vaginal birth after cesarean) and just schedule another c-section delivery. She said no. In fact, surgery increases my risk for developing a blood clot (jeopardizing my health) and she still thinks a VBAC will be fine. She gave all of my lab reports to my normal OB as well and said she wants to see me again between 19 and 20 weeks for my mid-pregnancy ultrasound.
So that's what's going on with my weird blood. I don't want everyone to get too excited yet....but I believe I am starting to feel a little bit of movement. I've been feeling it very slightly the last two days. They say that with your second you feel movement earlier because you know what to expect. I started feeling movement with Brooke at about 15 weeks...so maybe because I know what to look for I'm feeling it a little earlier now. Who knows?
Well, I'm going to go eat and get some rest.
12 Weeks 4 Days
Starting Weight: 135
Current Weight: 135
Issues: Just normal pregnancy hormones!
Well, Cody and I are back from our wonderful trip to the White Mountains. It was so nice to be in cooler weather. We got some rain up there and that really made things nice and cool. I had to actually use my sweaters and I had some hot chocolate at night too. I can't really explain how beautiful it all was. I took lots of pictures though. Too bad the fan motor in Cody's truck went out yesterday, so you know what that meant. No A/C in the truck! It wasn't bad for the first 3 hours of the trip because we were in high elevation mountains. But once we got to Phoenix....forget it! What were we doing driving in August in Phoenix with no air? Crazy.
Well, my perinatologist, Dr. Kuhlman, left two messages while I was gone. I had my blood pulled before we left because as I wrote in my last post, she wanted to have my blood tested for any clotting issues. I had seven tests done and it turns out that I have a genetic single mutation known as Factor V Leiden which makes my blood slightly more susceptible to blood clots. This specifically is what I wanted to be tested for because there is a history of blood clots in my family and I have met a few other women on the internet who had stillborn babies and afterwards had their blood tested and they too had this mutation. When I initially met with Dr. Kuhlman, she said that Brooke's umbilical cord possibly was not as strong as it should have been, making it more prone to being compressed and cutting off flow. A problem with the blood flow (i.e. blood clots) through the placenta could have caused this problem. So I don't know FOR SURE that's what happened last time, but it is all making sense to me. She said that right now, I just need to take a baby aspirin once a day to slightly thin my blood. She says there is no need for any other blood thinners at this point, unless I go into pre-term labor or anything like that.
I asked her if having this mutation in my blood means that I should not attempt a VBAC (vaginal birth after cesarean) and just schedule another c-section delivery. She said no. In fact, surgery increases my risk for developing a blood clot (jeopardizing my health) and she still thinks a VBAC will be fine. She gave all of my lab reports to my normal OB as well and said she wants to see me again between 19 and 20 weeks for my mid-pregnancy ultrasound.
So that's what's going on with my weird blood. I don't want everyone to get too excited yet....but I believe I am starting to feel a little bit of movement. I've been feeling it very slightly the last two days. They say that with your second you feel movement earlier because you know what to expect. I started feeling movement with Brooke at about 15 weeks...so maybe because I know what to look for I'm feeling it a little earlier now. Who knows?
Well, I'm going to go eat and get some rest.
Thursday, August 14, 2008
11 Weeks
Statistics:
11 Weeks
Starting Weight: 135
Current Weight: 135.5
Issues: Digestive issues...
First, thank you to everyone who prayed for us on Monday. As I posted last week, Monday was Brooke's first birthday. I did very well. I just treated it like any other day. I went to the Phoenix Zoo (which was not crowded but VERY HOT) with my family and we had a great time. One year ago, I never thought I would be this happy and peaceful. God's everlasting kindess and love is amazing!
I met with the perinatologist on Tuesday. I was a little nervous, but everything went GREAT. The hospital is approximately one hour from Wickenburg, so as I was driving there, pregnancy bladder struck! I had to pee so badly and of course, I hit every red light once I got on Thunderbird Road. Those 4 miles were torture! Haha, so I got to the hospital and had to go through admissions before going in for my ultrasound. That process was kind of hard for me, because I literally was doing the same thing one year ago...and I came out 4 days later with no baby. I just kept thinking positive and the lady was really nice, so that was good.
I then went down the hall to the perinatologist's office. I was waiting for Cody to show up (he had some issues with parking) and the ultrasound tech came out to greet me. We met Cody at the entrance and we walked back into the room. I started to cry just going in there. The tech was so kind to me and understood my crying. I think I'll get better with the ultrasounds once I start to feel movement. Anyways, they proceeded with the ultrasound and there was our baby. It no longer looks like a peanut. It had little arms and legs and it knew it was time to perform. It was kicking, punching, and rolling around. Cody and I were just ao amazed at how active it was. And then it took it's right hand and put it on top of it's head like, "Oh, that was so exhausting!" The heart rate was 172 BPM and the tech said the baby was positioned in my uterus exactly where it should be. She also said that the baby's growth was 3 days ahead of schedule, but when she did the transvaginal ultrasound measurements, it was 1 day. Either way, she said it's perfectly normal.
Many of you know I was concerned about my uterus possibly being abnormally shaped. The doctor who did my c-section with Brooke said it appeared bi-cornuate, or heart shaped. Well, after a good 20 minutes of examining my uterus by ultrasound, the tech and the perinatologist agreed that my uterus IS NOT heart shaped. She said that perhaps how the placenta attached last time could have given my uterus a heart shaped appearance.
So after a wonderful ultrasound, Cody and I met with the perinatologist in her office. She went over my records with me and just listened to my concerns. She said that 25% of babies are born with the cord around the neck, but a triple nuchal cord (what Brooke had) is very rare, and even more rarely do babies die from it. She said that Brooke's death could have possibly been a combo of things.... cord wrapped around the neck with low amniotic fluid could have caused her to more easily compress her cord or my placenta may not have been functioning as well as it should have in those final weeks. She said that while Brooke's size was not abnormally small (6 lbs 3 oz 19 in), it is a little on the low side for a 40 week baby. She thinks that maybe in those final weeks, Brooke was starting to fall off the growth chart. So because of my family history with blood clots and just to rule anything out, she is having some blood tests run on me to rule out anything in my blood that may cause future problems. If there is anything, she says that there are so many treatments available.
So off I will go to get my blood drawn. Yippee! If everything turns out OK with that, she says that they will start monitoring me at around 32 weeks with non-stress tests and biophysical profiling, in addition to ultrasounds to check on baby's growth. All reassuring things. She is also supportive of letting me attempt a VBAC (vaginal birth after cesarean) which made me glad.
So that's what's been going on. Cody and I are headed up to Greer this weekend and we will not be back until the 25th, so my next post will probably not be for another two weeks. Below is a pic from the ultrasound. It's not as clear as the last one, but it will work. :)
11 Weeks
Starting Weight: 135
Current Weight: 135.5
Issues: Digestive issues...
First, thank you to everyone who prayed for us on Monday. As I posted last week, Monday was Brooke's first birthday. I did very well. I just treated it like any other day. I went to the Phoenix Zoo (which was not crowded but VERY HOT) with my family and we had a great time. One year ago, I never thought I would be this happy and peaceful. God's everlasting kindess and love is amazing!
I met with the perinatologist on Tuesday. I was a little nervous, but everything went GREAT. The hospital is approximately one hour from Wickenburg, so as I was driving there, pregnancy bladder struck! I had to pee so badly and of course, I hit every red light once I got on Thunderbird Road. Those 4 miles were torture! Haha, so I got to the hospital and had to go through admissions before going in for my ultrasound. That process was kind of hard for me, because I literally was doing the same thing one year ago...and I came out 4 days later with no baby. I just kept thinking positive and the lady was really nice, so that was good.
I then went down the hall to the perinatologist's office. I was waiting for Cody to show up (he had some issues with parking) and the ultrasound tech came out to greet me. We met Cody at the entrance and we walked back into the room. I started to cry just going in there. The tech was so kind to me and understood my crying. I think I'll get better with the ultrasounds once I start to feel movement. Anyways, they proceeded with the ultrasound and there was our baby. It no longer looks like a peanut. It had little arms and legs and it knew it was time to perform. It was kicking, punching, and rolling around. Cody and I were just ao amazed at how active it was. And then it took it's right hand and put it on top of it's head like, "Oh, that was so exhausting!" The heart rate was 172 BPM and the tech said the baby was positioned in my uterus exactly where it should be. She also said that the baby's growth was 3 days ahead of schedule, but when she did the transvaginal ultrasound measurements, it was 1 day. Either way, she said it's perfectly normal.
Many of you know I was concerned about my uterus possibly being abnormally shaped. The doctor who did my c-section with Brooke said it appeared bi-cornuate, or heart shaped. Well, after a good 20 minutes of examining my uterus by ultrasound, the tech and the perinatologist agreed that my uterus IS NOT heart shaped. She said that perhaps how the placenta attached last time could have given my uterus a heart shaped appearance.
So after a wonderful ultrasound, Cody and I met with the perinatologist in her office. She went over my records with me and just listened to my concerns. She said that 25% of babies are born with the cord around the neck, but a triple nuchal cord (what Brooke had) is very rare, and even more rarely do babies die from it. She said that Brooke's death could have possibly been a combo of things.... cord wrapped around the neck with low amniotic fluid could have caused her to more easily compress her cord or my placenta may not have been functioning as well as it should have in those final weeks. She said that while Brooke's size was not abnormally small (6 lbs 3 oz 19 in), it is a little on the low side for a 40 week baby. She thinks that maybe in those final weeks, Brooke was starting to fall off the growth chart. So because of my family history with blood clots and just to rule anything out, she is having some blood tests run on me to rule out anything in my blood that may cause future problems. If there is anything, she says that there are so many treatments available.
So off I will go to get my blood drawn. Yippee! If everything turns out OK with that, she says that they will start monitoring me at around 32 weeks with non-stress tests and biophysical profiling, in addition to ultrasounds to check on baby's growth. All reassuring things. She is also supportive of letting me attempt a VBAC (vaginal birth after cesarean) which made me glad.
So that's what's been going on. Cody and I are headed up to Greer this weekend and we will not be back until the 25th, so my next post will probably not be for another two weeks. Below is a pic from the ultrasound. It's not as clear as the last one, but it will work. :)
Saturday, August 9, 2008
10 Weeks
Statistics:
10 Weeks 2 Days
Starting Weight: 135
Current Weight: 135
Issues: Still a little nausea and fatigue.
I can't believe I'm already at 10 weeks. By now, I'm sure all of you have seen "Peanut." Cody and I were just so thrilled to show off our baby to all of our friends.
As I write this, I have just returned from a long day trip. My mom and my sister are visiting from California. Cody decided to go on a fishing trip with his brother Lane to Yuma (who wants to hangout with the girls anyways), so we took an all day road trip. We went up to Prescott, then visited the small town of Jerome, Cottonwood, Sedona, and then hit our target, Flagstaff. Oh, it was so nice to be in much cooler weather. We were at an outdoor mall, when, the monsoon struck. It started raining SOOOO hard. Who thought I would have to put a sweater on in the middle of August? It was so beautiful and we really had a good time.
On a different note, Brooke's birthday is in two days and so far I feel pretty good. I think of her every day. It's still hard to believe it's already been a year. Having another baby on the way helps with the grief, but I still miss Brooke. :(
I've been spending a lot of time looking at boy clothing, not because I really feel like the baby is a boy, but because I am already familiar with all the adorable clothing available for girls. I was feeling very discouraged with boy clothing, as I don't want to dress him in sharks, bugs, or puppy dog ears. Why don't they make the same kind of cute stuff for boys? It's like they devote 3/4 of the baby section to girls, and then the boy section is the remaining quarter and it can't even compare in cuteness. I did see some really cute boy clothes at Old Navy though. They had these little onesies with guitars all over it, so if this baby is a boy, we will be picking that up. Like father like son...
I have my first appointment with the perinatologist on Tuesday. I will be having an ultrasound and then a consultation. A perinatologist is a doctor who specializes in high risk pregnancies. Don't be alarmed. Nothing so far is indicating that this is a high risk pregnancy...but because of my stillbirth, my OB wants me to meet with her so that I may have more peace of mind. She is the head of the Maternal & Fetal Medicine Unit at Thunderbird Hospital (the hospital I will be delivering at) and is part of Phoenix Perinatal Associates. From her bio, I also understand that she is a Christian, which is very encouraging. Anyways, she does more in depth ultrasounds and will probably be overseeing my biophysical profiles and non-stress tests later on in the pregnancy.
Ok, well, that was a lot. Below is my ten week photo of my belly. Still no weight gain, but my pants are starting to fit a little tighter.
10 Weeks 2 Days
Starting Weight: 135
Current Weight: 135
Issues: Still a little nausea and fatigue.
I can't believe I'm already at 10 weeks. By now, I'm sure all of you have seen "Peanut." Cody and I were just so thrilled to show off our baby to all of our friends.
As I write this, I have just returned from a long day trip. My mom and my sister are visiting from California. Cody decided to go on a fishing trip with his brother Lane to Yuma (who wants to hangout with the girls anyways), so we took an all day road trip. We went up to Prescott, then visited the small town of Jerome, Cottonwood, Sedona, and then hit our target, Flagstaff. Oh, it was so nice to be in much cooler weather. We were at an outdoor mall, when, the monsoon struck. It started raining SOOOO hard. Who thought I would have to put a sweater on in the middle of August? It was so beautiful and we really had a good time.
On a different note, Brooke's birthday is in two days and so far I feel pretty good. I think of her every day. It's still hard to believe it's already been a year. Having another baby on the way helps with the grief, but I still miss Brooke. :(
I've been spending a lot of time looking at boy clothing, not because I really feel like the baby is a boy, but because I am already familiar with all the adorable clothing available for girls. I was feeling very discouraged with boy clothing, as I don't want to dress him in sharks, bugs, or puppy dog ears. Why don't they make the same kind of cute stuff for boys? It's like they devote 3/4 of the baby section to girls, and then the boy section is the remaining quarter and it can't even compare in cuteness. I did see some really cute boy clothes at Old Navy though. They had these little onesies with guitars all over it, so if this baby is a boy, we will be picking that up. Like father like son...
I have my first appointment with the perinatologist on Tuesday. I will be having an ultrasound and then a consultation. A perinatologist is a doctor who specializes in high risk pregnancies. Don't be alarmed. Nothing so far is indicating that this is a high risk pregnancy...but because of my stillbirth, my OB wants me to meet with her so that I may have more peace of mind. She is the head of the Maternal & Fetal Medicine Unit at Thunderbird Hospital (the hospital I will be delivering at) and is part of Phoenix Perinatal Associates. From her bio, I also understand that she is a Christian, which is very encouraging. Anyways, she does more in depth ultrasounds and will probably be overseeing my biophysical profiles and non-stress tests later on in the pregnancy.
Ok, well, that was a lot. Below is my ten week photo of my belly. Still no weight gain, but my pants are starting to fit a little tighter.
Saturday, August 2, 2008
9 Weeks
Statistics:
9 weeks 2 Days
Starting Weight: 135
Current Weight: 134
Issues: None that are too bad. Little bit of nausea, sore boobs, and sore hips.
So yesterday was our first doctor appointment and it went great. I was really nervous just waiting for that first ultrasound. The doctor came in and first asked me how I was feeling. She wasn't as concerned about physically as emotionally, which was really nice. Cody accompanied me to the appointment and it was so awesome to have him there for support. I told the doc how emotionally, I want to be excited, but it's still kind of hard. I still miss my little girl, and this baby can not replace her.
So they did an internal physical exam of me. She tried feeling my uterus to see if that would give away any hints as to how far along I am. Well, it's tilted slightly to the back, so it wasn't giving much information. She had me get dressed and then they pulled my blood...which I just LOVE (NOT). Fortunately, the nurse doing that did a good job and talked to me about church and stuff like that.
Then it was into the room I had been so fearful of all day. The ultrasound room. Cody and I were waiting in there about 5 minutes before she came in. They had to do what is called a transvaginal ultrasound because the baby is still so small that they can get better measurements using a wand up...well..you know where.
So the big moment came. I was afraid to look at the screen, but Cody was staring right at it. Then the doctor said..."Look, there's your baby." I still didn't want to really look until I asked her, "Is there a heartbeat?" And with that she responded, oh yes, a very good one. So then I just started crying and talking to the baby and sure enough, it's little arms and legs started moving. Cody and I were just so happy. Then she turned on the sound and we could hear the heart beating. I have been waiting almost a year to hear that sound again, and it was just so awesome. She said the baby was measuring exactly where it should be and the heartbeat was at 180 beats per minutes, which is where they normally are at that stage.
Because I can't feel this baby moving yet, seeing it was just so awesome. Now I KNOW there is a baby in there. I also got a pretty cool goody bag full of brochures, supplements, coupons for baby stuff, and magazines.
So my next appointment is September 3. In the mean time, my doctor referred me to consult with a perinatologist (a doctor that specializes in high risk pregnancies). I mentioned that I wanted to have some genetic tests performed just to rule out any future complications with this pregnancy. I also want to get to the bottom of the question of whether or not my uterus is heart shaped or not. My doc said a consultation with the peri will help me get answers to these questions and put my mind at more ease. So I will call on Monday to make an appointment with the peri and see what happens from there. The two doctors will work very closely together.
So, here's the first look of baby. Isn't it funny to think we all started out looking like this?
9 weeks 2 Days
Starting Weight: 135
Current Weight: 134
Issues: None that are too bad. Little bit of nausea, sore boobs, and sore hips.
So yesterday was our first doctor appointment and it went great. I was really nervous just waiting for that first ultrasound. The doctor came in and first asked me how I was feeling. She wasn't as concerned about physically as emotionally, which was really nice. Cody accompanied me to the appointment and it was so awesome to have him there for support. I told the doc how emotionally, I want to be excited, but it's still kind of hard. I still miss my little girl, and this baby can not replace her.
So they did an internal physical exam of me. She tried feeling my uterus to see if that would give away any hints as to how far along I am. Well, it's tilted slightly to the back, so it wasn't giving much information. She had me get dressed and then they pulled my blood...which I just LOVE (NOT). Fortunately, the nurse doing that did a good job and talked to me about church and stuff like that.
Then it was into the room I had been so fearful of all day. The ultrasound room. Cody and I were waiting in there about 5 minutes before she came in. They had to do what is called a transvaginal ultrasound because the baby is still so small that they can get better measurements using a wand up...well..you know where.
So the big moment came. I was afraid to look at the screen, but Cody was staring right at it. Then the doctor said..."Look, there's your baby." I still didn't want to really look until I asked her, "Is there a heartbeat?" And with that she responded, oh yes, a very good one. So then I just started crying and talking to the baby and sure enough, it's little arms and legs started moving. Cody and I were just so happy. Then she turned on the sound and we could hear the heart beating. I have been waiting almost a year to hear that sound again, and it was just so awesome. She said the baby was measuring exactly where it should be and the heartbeat was at 180 beats per minutes, which is where they normally are at that stage.
Because I can't feel this baby moving yet, seeing it was just so awesome. Now I KNOW there is a baby in there. I also got a pretty cool goody bag full of brochures, supplements, coupons for baby stuff, and magazines.
So my next appointment is September 3. In the mean time, my doctor referred me to consult with a perinatologist (a doctor that specializes in high risk pregnancies). I mentioned that I wanted to have some genetic tests performed just to rule out any future complications with this pregnancy. I also want to get to the bottom of the question of whether or not my uterus is heart shaped or not. My doc said a consultation with the peri will help me get answers to these questions and put my mind at more ease. So I will call on Monday to make an appointment with the peri and see what happens from there. The two doctors will work very closely together.
So, here's the first look of baby. Isn't it funny to think we all started out looking like this?
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