See Me Grow

baby
Our little sweet pea

Sunday, March 1, 2009

Payslie is here!

Well, I'm FINALLY getting around to writing some sort of birth story for Payslie. As joyful as this time is, I don't know what I was imagining motherhood to be like. Haha, I think I was dreaming that it would be so much easier. But, I am SO thankful for it and wouldn't trade it for anything.

I guess I'll start her story off on February 19. I was scheduled for an amniocentisis at 8 AM at the hospital. We were doing this procedure because I was 38 weeks and my c-section was scheduled for February 20. I, as well as my doctor, wanted to make sure her lungs were developed before proceeding with a delivery, mainly because I would not be going through labor (which naturally strengthens baby's lungs). We both were under the agreement that we would rather have her cook longer if necessary than take her out too early and wish we would have waited. So Cody and I got to the hospital around 7 AM and checked in. I was put in a room in triage for a NST. My perinatologist was the one performing the amnio, but I guess she was in a meeting and I didn't get taken in for the actual procedure until around 9:30.

They started the procedure with a quick scan to check for fluid pockets (obviously). I think my nerves were starting to pick up, and the fact that she was pushing her head into my rib cage wasn't helping much either. I had to sit up to catch my breath and then the doc came in to start the procedure. I put a towel over my face because I didn't want to see the needle. The amnio itself was not as bad as I was expecting. It's a very WEIRD feeling and I wouldn't really want to do it again, but I'm glad I did it. After it was done, I sat up and all of a sudden felt like I was going to vomit and pass out. Fortunately we avoided that fiasco with some water. I was very pleased when they told me that Payslie didn't seem to be bothered by the needle at all. They sent me back to triage for another hour and a half to be monitored, and after Payslie showed no signs of fetal distress and my body didn't show signs of labor, I was discharged from the hospital.

The hospital I delivered at was an hour away from our home in Wickenburg, so Cody and I decided that we would be staying at a hotel that night because we wanted to be close to the hospital "just in case." We went and got some lunch and went to the mall, then checked into our hotel and took a much needed nap. Around 5, Cody's crew from work decided that they wanted to take us out for some drinks and appetizers (haha, my "drink" consisted of root beer) at the Yardhouse, so we met up with them there and enjoyed the afternoon. My parents and our Pastor and his wife, Anne, all came over from California and we met them around 8 for dinner. I was still awaiting the results of the amnio though...so I didn't have as much of an appetite as I should have. While we were still at dinner, I got the phone call we were waiting for. Around 9, a nurse from the hospital called and said the results came back that she was ready. I was still scheduled for my c-section at 1 the next day.

Cody and I went back to our hotel and visited with Pastor Steve and Anne a little longer, prayed, and decided to call it a night. Of course, I couldn't sleep much...I just kept thinking about how much our life would change in the next 24 hours. I was afraid to sleep because I wanted to make sure she was moving. I wasn't supposed to have anything to eat or drink after midnight, but I woke up around 2 AM and couldn't sleep. I went down to the hotel lobby and downed a HUGE thing of water (I was seriously so thirsty) and got on the computer down there to check some e-mail. I finally headed back up to my room around 3 and tried to get back to sleep.

The morning of the 20th we got up around 7, ate some breakfast, showered, and headed to the hospital around 10, as they wanted me checked in my 10:30. I couldn't believe we were on our way to meeting our little girl! I got checked in, walked up to L&D and was escorted to my room. After I got changed into my hospital gown, the nurse came in and hooked up the monitors. Payslie's heart was beating away, although she moved away from the monitor a few times and the nurse had to reposition it. Knowing that she was hooked up until delivery just put me at ease...the nurse got my IV started, the lab took their blood, family came in to visit, and before I knew it, it was 12:45. The anasthesiologist (sp?) came in and talked with me. I really liked her. Then Dr. Branaman came in and informed me that she would be doing my c-section (not my doctor) because as I have mentioned before, my doc was 39 weeks pregnant and they were inducing her that day. My doc was originally planning on still doing my c-section, but I overheard one of the nurses saying that there were some minor complications arising w/her pregnancy and it wouldn't be smart for her to attempt to deliver me.

Anyways, at 1 PM I was escorted into the OR. Cody and I were so nervous and excited...I can't explain the feelings I was having. Cody waited out in the hallway as I got my spinal anasthesia and they got me prepped for surgery. The blue curtain went up and in came Cody. I was very alert, although I was once again EXTREMELY thirsty. I could have downed a whole gallon of water at that moment, I swear. The doctor started the c-section and made me feel really good when she told me that I had AWESOME stomach muscles and that she and her assistants were extremely jealous. :) Then came the big moment: "You're going to feel a lot of tugging and pressure, OK?" Ok....here goes. "We've got a little butt...some feet...."...and then there it was...a quick little "Whaa...." I could hear them suctioning her and then she let loose....Her lungs were DEFINITELY mature. I can't put into words the relief, the joy, just in general, the emotion of that moment. They brought her over to my side and showed her to me and Cody and then invited Cody back behind the curtain to watch them clean her up, cut her cord, etc. Cody kept laughing at how "cheesy" (due to the vernix) she looked. I kept hearing her cry and my heart was just so filled with joy. I kept crying and thanking Jesus for giving her to us. They finished stitching me up and Cody brought over our "little burrito" to us.

Cody and Payslie went off to the nursery, while I was taken to recovery. I was really OK with that because to be honest, the anasthesia made me pretty tired and I was shaking pretty badly. My nurse called the nursery for the stats on Payslie: 6 lbs even and 19 3/8 inches long. I asked the nurse what her Apgars were and they were 9 and 9 which pleased me very much.

About 20 minutes later, they brought her into me and with me she stayed. :) She took very naturally to the breast, but as the days went by, I found that she was not latching quite as well. You would think nursing would be much easier since it's so natural....not the case though. By the time I came home from the hospital, we went and bought a pump so I could give my breasts some time to heal. That was hard for me because I really looked forward to nursing her and I didn't want to introduce a bottle so soon, but I had to do what was best for her. I was literally in tears nursing her because it hurt so bad. Fortunately, the pediatrician recommended a nipple shield to me at her doctor appointment on Wednesday, so we went and got one. It has truly saved the day and I'm now back to being able to nurse her. Yeah!

On Monday, I was released to come home from the hospital. I had such wonderful care from all of the staff, and I am truly shocked at how different this recovery has been. I know that recovery from my first c-section was not very quick because I was in a different emotional state, but I am still surprised at how much I can do right now and think that I had major abdominal surgery a little over a week ago. Crazy!

She is now a little over a week old and I am enjoying every moment with her. I've had two VERY emotional moments (probably due to pregnancy hormones) where I just broke down and sobbed looking at her. My whole pregnancy I don't think I really allowed myself to attach to her because of the loss of Brooke...I just associated everything with what I knew from Brooke. But now that she's here, I realize that she is Payslie, not Brooke... a new child to love...not to replace, but to fill part of that emptiness inside. I realized how much love I have for her and I am so thankful that God has given her to us as her parents.

Well, that's it for now. She is sleeping very peacefully and I really need to use this time to take a shower.

Tuesday, February 17, 2009

The Final Month (35,36, & 37 Weeks)

Statistics:
37 Weeks 5 Days
Starting Weight: 135
Current Weight: 169
Issues: I want her to be here!

Well, I'm sorry I've been such a slacker on my blog. The last few weeks have been kind of crazy. I haven't even updated my doctor appointments or anything like that. So I'll try to give you all a brief rundown of the events of the past couple of weeks.

As of my last post, Payslie WAS in a head down position. Well, she decided to stay that way for only a week and then flipped herself back into a breech position. Even though the ultrasound at the beginning of my pregnancy concluded that my uterus does not appear heart shaped, I am thinking that it still may be slightly shaped that way and it is only something that is discovered in surgery. This means that I probably have a very minor form of a bicornuate uterus, so minor that it really doesn't affect my pregnancy negatively other than my babies are more comfortable in a breech position. I have to admit that her being breech does make me feel better about my decision to go ahead with a repeat c-section. I feel like the decision was made for me.

I have been going to my non-stress tests twice a week and she's been doing very well. I think she was going through a growth spurt last weekend (the 7-9) because she was a little bit sleepier than usual. She passed her NST on the 9th, but I was so full of anxiety and had myself convinced that something wasn't right. The ultrasound even showed that everything was good. I had an emotional breakdown in front of the labor and delivery nurses at the hospital and fortunately, they were kind enough to let me stay as long as I wanted hooked up to the monitors in triage to give me peace of mind. I really like a woman named MJ who works at scheduling desk in the NST office. She has really taken me under her wing and she came and talked to me after my "breakdown." It was just a bad day for me.

As far as my anxiety, it is subsiding. I think I purposely left a lot of stuff to be done this week to keep me busy since you know that idle hands are the devils playground. Payslie has been a lot more active this week, although she did decide to take a nap at the beginning of my NST yesterday. Poor girl...we had to "buzz" her awake. For you moms, you know how quiet your baby is while he/she is sleeping in the womb? Imagine at the slightest "buzz" of this device, your baby literally jumps in the womb. That's what she does when they buzz her, but it's a very good sign that she reacts because it means all is well with her nervous system. I know I will feel bad about buzzing her when I see her sweet little face, but for now, it helps us establish that she's OK.

I am still waking up in the middle of the night, although mostly because I have to use the ladies room and also because my hips are super sore sleeping on my sides. This is the time when I am most susceptible to anxiety because I lost Brooke while I was sleeping, so I feel like I have to be on guard during the night. Fortunately, I have a lot of Scripture memorized to help fight off those anxious thoughts ("Take every thought captive and make it obedient to Christ") and she usually does some kind of movement to let me know she's OK.

So, as most of you know already, my c-section is scheduled for this Friday, February 20 at 1PM. I am having an amniocentisis performed at 8 AM on Thursday morning to check for lung maturity. I am hoping that she is ready since I will be 38 weeks. If she is not ready, the c-section will be delayed probably another week. On an interesting note, I'm not even sure if MY doctor will be doing my c-section because apparently, she has hidden a pregnancy quite well. Imagine my surprise to find out that she is about as far along as me with her pregnancy! Those scrubs sure do cover up a baby bump! So as long as she doesn't have her baby this week, she is still on to do my c-section, but if not, it will be another doctor in the practice. I told her just as long as a doctor shows up in the OR, that's all that matters to me.

I will keep everyone posted and hopefully by this time next week, I will have some pictures of Payslie OUTSIDE the womb.

Thank you to everyone for all of your prayers and support going through this pregnancy.

Tuesday, January 27, 2009

Visiting After Payslie's Arrival

To make things easy for everyone, I decided to write a separate post about visiting after Payslie arrives. As much as I would love to be able to house everyone at our home, it is physically impossible to do in a 1200 sq ft, 2 bedroom town house. I have put on the side of this blog a list of local motels here in Wickenburg, along with their phone numbers. I'm not sure what their rates are, but I'm sure they shouldn't be too outrageous.

Cody and I are very excited to share this time with our family and friends. We are anticipating things to be a little hectic upon our arrival home from the hospital, not only with adjusting to Payslie, but also with my recovery from the c-section. I am usually a very social gal, but in all honesty, I remember what it was like recovering from a c-section and I know that in addition to my new mom duties I may have times where I just need to REST to ensure a healthy recovery.

I know that my immediate family (Mom, Dad, and Kellie) plan on being here for delivery. My in-laws, with the exception of my mother-in-law, Judi all live in Wickenburg and I know that they will all be around to help as well.

If you do plan on visiting after Payslie is born, we would really appreciate it if you could notify us so we know who to expect and when. I don't need down to the wire details, but I want to make sure that I don't have 10 people visiting from out of town on the same weekend, as we want to make the most out of the time we have with our family and friends.

Please e-mail me at ksandoval84@gmail.com if you have any questions. Thanks!

34 Weeks

Statistics:
34 Weeks 5 Days
Starting Weight: 135
Current Weight: 165
Issues: Getting really excited for her to be here!

Well, as you can see, I posted pictures of Payslie's nursery. Now that it has all come together, we are just waiting for her to get here to complete it. This past week has gone by pretty quickly, so here's an update.

I was feeling much better after my 24 hour stomach bug on Wednesday. By Wednesday night, however, I was really afraid that I had contacted a type of food poisoning called listeria and, even though I had a doctor appointment the next morning and a NST, I couldn't sleep without knowing Payslie was OK. She had been very active all day, but I just needed reassurance. So Cody and I drove to the hospital, which may I remind you is an hour away, to get checked out at triage. They hooked me up to monitors for an hour during which Payslie did very well. They said I had a little bit of uterine irritability...very minor contractions caused by dehydration. They also said that they could order a blood test, but the results could take a week. I decided that since she was doing well on the monitors, that she was most likely OK. The following day she did very well on another NST and my doctor said that I really had nothing to worry about.

The doctor did a test for Group B Strep and also did my first cervical exam. Not to my surprise, there was no progress on my cervix because she was in a breech position. I talked to my doctor about the amniocentisis and she said the only risk would be the possibility that it could put me into labor, which is why they would monitor me for about 3 hours after the procedure. I felt better after that and she also said that my perinatologist, Dr. Kuhlman, would be the one doing that procedure. So I haven't gotten a definite date from my doctor yet, but it looks like we will be doing the amnio sometime during the week of February 16-20.

I had an ultrasound yesterday with Dr. Kuhlman and Payslie looks great. We got such a wonderful surprise when the ultrasound began...she turned head down sometime between my appointment last Thursday and yesterday. I suspected that she had changed position because over the weekend I started feeling kicks in the upper right portion of my belly, but I didn't want to get my hopes up. Hopefully she will stay put now. The cord is still not around her neck and the blood flow between her cord and the placenta is great, Praise God! I know this stuff doesn't seem like a big deal, but it's so reassuring for a mom who has had a stillborn. We were also able to get a few 4D face shots of her during the ultrasound. I think we've concluded that she's going to get Cody's nose, but definitely my lips. It's also suspected that she's going to have quite a head full of hair. They estimate that right now she weighs 4 lbs 12oz. If I were to go to 40 weeks, they estimate she would be a little over 7 lbs, but since she's (hopefully) going to come at 38 weeks, she'll probably be somewhere around 6 lbs.

I talked to Dr. Kuhlman about the amnio, and she said that usually they schedule it one day before the scheduled c-section. So it looks like that's what's going to happen. I am still praying that I will go into labor on my own around 37 weeks so that I can get my VBAC and not have to deal with the amnio or c-section. It's all in God's hands.

So below are the pictures we received of Payslie yesterday. I hope you like them.

Mommy's lips 34w4d

Daddy's nose 34w4d

Sunday, January 25, 2009

Pictures!

I am so excited to let you all know that my wonderful husband was able to fix my camera. What a blessing because I really didn't want to have to fork over the money to buy a new one since I am perfectly satisfied with the one I have. Anyways, I took some pictures of Payslie's nursery to share with all of you. I have also included in this post my most recent belly picture which was taken a week ago. I think I look HUGE in the picture, but I'm going to blame it on the shirt I wore that day. I hope you like the pix.

33 Weeks 3 Days
33 Weeks 3 Days

Payslie's Nursery
Payslie's Nursery

Future Home of Many Dirty Diaper Changings
Dresser/Diaper Changing

Pretty Little Girl Bedding
Pretty Girl Bedding

Wednesday, January 21, 2009

33 Weeks

Statistics:
33 Weeks 6 Days
Starting Weight: 135
Current Weight: 165
Issues: Feeling much better after a day with the stomach flu.

Well, this week has been interesting! As you can see under my issues, I am feeling much better today after a strange encounter with a nasty stomach bug. My mom was here visiting from CA since Friday and was supposed to go home yesterday, but I woke up around 12 AM yesterday morning, um, not feeling well to put it mildly. Like any mom would do, she stayed up all night with me and ended up staying all day yesterday to get some rest and also continue to take care of me. Cody also did a good job initially trying to take care of me, but I didn't want to keep him up all night as I knew he had to leave for work at 5:30 AM, and let's face it...when you're sick, the best person to take care of you is your mom. So I was very grateful for her presence and her 3 trips to the grocery store (including a 2 AM run to get some Sprite). This morning I woke up ready to eat and with no trace of a fever, aches, or nausea. So strange.

Of course my primary concern all day was the health of Payslie and I think she came through unscathed because she is still pretty active. Poor girl was probably wondering where all her food was yesterday. :)

Since my last post, I have had 2 non-stress tests and another ultrasound. She has done beautifully on her NST. The nurses tell me that they are textbook, which makes me feel good. She is still in a footling breech position, but the cord is not around her neck and she is looking healthy, which is all I can really ask for. My mom came with me to my ultrasound on Monday and was so excited to see her on that screen. The tech says that she's got lots of hair (I don't know how they can see that, but they can). She still isn't in a good position to get a good 4D shot of her face, but that's OK. I guess she'll just keep it a surprise.

I have a doctor appointment tomorrow morning, followed by another NST at the hospital. I swear I will know all of the labor and delivery nurses by the time I have Payslie, which is kind of neat. I have been very blessed with the care I'm receiving at the hospital. One nurse in particular I really connected with. She stayed with me during my NST last week and we had a wonderful conversation. Very uplifting. It's so great to be able to laugh and cry with those taking care of you. In fact, my NST is only supposed to be 20 minutes, but I was in there for 45 minutes simply because we kept talking. :)

I am going to go over my delivery options with my doctor tomorrow, as I have seen her nurse practitioner the last two appointments. I am hoping to get a date for my c-section very soon. It is all based upon whether or not I want to have an amniocentisis performed to check for lung maturity at 38 weeks (2 weeks before my due date) or wait until 39 weeks for delivery. Cody and I have some questions we want answered before we make a final decision.

So that's the update for this week. I will post more soon. :)

Monday, January 12, 2009

31/32 Weeks

Statistics:
32 Weeks 4 Days
Starting Weight: 135
Current Weight: 168
Issues: Nothing to complain about!

I'm sorry it's taken me so long to write another post. I guess I'm getting lazy. This post will be full of news since it seems like quite a bit has gone on the last two weeks. Where should I start?

We got Payslie's nursery officially set up. I still have to hang the window valance and get a shelf for the wall, but other than that it looks great. The furniture is just beautiful and I am so happy with the bedding set we chose for her. She already has a FULL closet of clothing. It was a little bittersweet pulling out everything we received for Brooke. I set aside a few things that were specifically for Brooke and that made me feel better. I spent New Years Day doing a ton of laundry. Even though we already had so much stuff from Brooke's baby shower, people (primarily my mom and my mother-in-law) have gotten Payslie a lot of new outfits and I had a whole load of laundry in just new clothing alone. Thank you to all of you who have gotten her gifts.

So why don't I have pictures up of the nursery? Well, my lovely camera decided to die on me on Christmas day. I took it to get repaired and they told me it would cost $130. It's only a $150 camera, so I said "No thanks." Needless to say we will be getting a new camera soon and when I do get it, I will post pictures.

I have started my bi-weekly monitoring and weekly doctor appointments. I found out at my appointment last week (Jan. 7) that my doctor has my due date as February 23. Since my doc is out on vacation, I was seeing the Nurse Practitioner. I told her that there was no way that could be my due date as Payslie consistently measured a March 5 due date in my early ultrasounds (which is what they use to date the pregnancy). Today at my doctor appointment, I found the culprit. For those of you who may not be familiar with how due dates are determined, it is 40 weeks from the first day of a woman's last menstrual cycle. So even though this may be TMI, mine was May 29. Well, the doctor has May 19. Bingo! That would explain her having my due date as 10 days earlier than it is. The Nurse Practitioner told me I can hash it out w/the doc when I see her next week.

So since my doc has informed the hospital that my due date is Feb. 23 and they won't change it until she calls it in differently, the non-stress testing department thinks I am 34 weeks pregnant. My high risk doctor ordered non-stress tests twice a week starting at 34 weeks with an ultrasound once a week to check my amniotic fluid levels, placenta, etc. I guess I should explain what a non-stress test is. Basically, they put me in a little recliner in a room and hook me up to two monitors, one to measure the baby's heartbeat, and another to monitor any contractions, for approximately 20 minutes. They like the baby to be active because they are looking for her heartrate to go up when she moves around. If it goes down while moving, it could possibly indicate stress a.k.a. something isn't right. I had my first NST last Monday and she did great. I had another one this morning and she passed with flying colors again. She was SO active during the test today. I think it was because I ate an orange half an hour before the appointment. Anyways, you could see the monitors moving on my belly and when she moves, it makes a scratching noise on the heartrate monitor. It was very reassuring.

After my NST, they took me into ultrasound. I asked the tech what she would be looking for and she explained that she would be checking my fluid levels, my placenta, and just a few normal things on the baby's vitals. I asked her if she could check for the cord around the neck, to which she at first responded that they really don't do that because if it is, there's nothing they can do about it and the mother usually panics. I then told her that I know it's perfectly normal if it's once around the neck, but my first baby died because it was 3 times around her neck. She totally understood why I was asking about the cord and told me that she would definitely check for me because of what happened to Brooke. Praise God! It's not around her neck at all. It is just floating behind her head. That was just so reassuring (on top of everything else looking great).

After she got all of the measurements and info she needed, she turned the screen to me and showed me my little girl. She is in a funny position, but at the time I will call it footling breech. Her head was facing down towards my right hip with her back going across the top of my uterus. Her butt is on the left side of my hips and she loves to tap dance her feet along my bladder and cervix. I keep praying that God will let her know that as much as she thinks her feet are supposed to come out first, that's not how it's supposed to be and she will get her little head there instead. :)

I go back to the hospital for another NST on Thursday. From now until delivery, I will be having a NST every Monday and Thursday. My next growth ultrasound is January 26. I am so far very pleased with the medical care I am receiving. God has answered so many prayers for me. :)

I still haven't set a delivery date. I will discuss it more with my doctor at my next appointment next Thursday. I am leaning towards scheduling a repeat c-section at 39 weeks (one week before my due date). At this point her lungs should be developed and I would not have to have an amniocentisis. My doc said that if she did the c-section at 38 weeks, she would want to do an amnio to check her lung development. I am really not comfortable with that procedure, so that is why I'm still thinking about it. I honestly don't like picking a date and I keep praying that she will get into the proper birthing position and that the Lord will make the decision for me (meaning that I hope I go into labor on my own prior to 39 weeks). We will see what happens.

So that's the update for now. I'm sorry it has taken so long. Thank you again for your continued prayers.