22 Weeks/23 Weeks

Statistics:
23 Weeks 1 Day
Starting Weight: 135
Current Weight: 149
Issues: Trying to stay on my sides while I sleep.

So I forgot that it has been over a week since I posted any information, so this is a combination post for 22 and 23 weeks.

I had a doctor appointment last week (October 29). Payslie is growing right on track and her heartrate varied in the 140s to 150s. I talked to my doctor about the possibility of doing another c-section. She said that if they do schedule a repeat c-section, they will do it at 39 weeks, which is one week before my due date. I explained to her my concerns about going into labor at home since I am 1 hour away from the hospital. Even though I know millions of women have babies every day and endure the labor process, I am very afraid of something happening to Payslie during labor. I asked her how many c-sections I could realistically have and she said 4 or 5 is usually a good number, which made me feel better since we would like more kids. I'm still undecided as to how I want to deliver...it's a good thing that I have about another 15 weeks before I need to make a decision. I think a lot of it will be based on how I'm feeling at that point and also how well Payslie is doing with all of the non-stress tests and biophysical profiles.

My doctor said that she will probably begin weekly non stress testing anywhere between 28 and 32 weeks. I would like to start at 28 weeks. I am much more vocal this time around about what I want done. I definitely want to take advantage of the medical technology we have to just have some kind of physical reassurance that she is ok.

Emotionally, I think my hormones are crazy. If you can't tell, I had MAJOR anxiety issues last week. It's so hard to describe what it is like going through another pregnancy after a loss. Women who have been in my situation completely understand. Once again, I had lots of tears and lots of prayers, and I am feeling much better now. I am just reminded that Payslie is ultimately God's child. He reserves the right to do whatever He has in mind for her. He knows how much we want to bring her home...I guess I'm just struggling with really getting attached to her for fear of the worst...not that it would make it any less painful to lose her, but the mind is a very strange and sometimes bad thing. Sometimes I get angry that that fear is there. Fortunately, God is always there for me and He just reassured me that everything is OK. My circumstances do not change who I forever am in Him.

On a positive note, she is back into her active phase. She feels different in there than Brooke did. I know that sounds weird. She's kicking more frequently and definitely lets me know when she is hungry. Her kicks are also getting higher. When I am sitting down, they are almost into my ribs. She still prefers the right side, but I heard most babies do.

Cody is hunting for deer this weekend. Oh my! I am hoping that we will go shopping for Payslie's nursery furniture within the next few weeks. I will get a belly picture up here probably next week. That's it for now. Thanks for all of your continued prayers.