Payslie is here!

Well, I'm FINALLY getting around to writing some sort of birth story for Payslie. As joyful as this time is, I don't know what I was imagining motherhood to be like. Haha, I think I was dreaming that it would be so much easier. But, I am SO thankful for it and wouldn't trade it for anything.

I guess I'll start her story off on February 19. I was scheduled for an amniocentisis at 8 AM at the hospital. We were doing this procedure because I was 38 weeks and my c-section was scheduled for February 20. I, as well as my doctor, wanted to make sure her lungs were developed before proceeding with a delivery, mainly because I would not be going through labor (which naturally strengthens baby's lungs). We both were under the agreement that we would rather have her cook longer if necessary than take her out too early and wish we would have waited. So Cody and I got to the hospital around 7 AM and checked in. I was put in a room in triage for a NST. My perinatologist was the one performing the amnio, but I guess she was in a meeting and I didn't get taken in for the actual procedure until around 9:30.

They started the procedure with a quick scan to check for fluid pockets (obviously). I think my nerves were starting to pick up, and the fact that she was pushing her head into my rib cage wasn't helping much either. I had to sit up to catch my breath and then the doc came in to start the procedure. I put a towel over my face because I didn't want to see the needle. The amnio itself was not as bad as I was expecting. It's a very WEIRD feeling and I wouldn't really want to do it again, but I'm glad I did it. After it was done, I sat up and all of a sudden felt like I was going to vomit and pass out. Fortunately we avoided that fiasco with some water. I was very pleased when they told me that Payslie didn't seem to be bothered by the needle at all. They sent me back to triage for another hour and a half to be monitored, and after Payslie showed no signs of fetal distress and my body didn't show signs of labor, I was discharged from the hospital.

The hospital I delivered at was an hour away from our home in Wickenburg, so Cody and I decided that we would be staying at a hotel that night because we wanted to be close to the hospital "just in case." We went and got some lunch and went to the mall, then checked into our hotel and took a much needed nap. Around 5, Cody's crew from work decided that they wanted to take us out for some drinks and appetizers (haha, my "drink" consisted of root beer) at the Yardhouse, so we met up with them there and enjoyed the afternoon. My parents and our Pastor and his wife, Anne, all came over from California and we met them around 8 for dinner. I was still awaiting the results of the amnio though...so I didn't have as much of an appetite as I should have. While we were still at dinner, I got the phone call we were waiting for. Around 9, a nurse from the hospital called and said the results came back that she was ready. I was still scheduled for my c-section at 1 the next day.

Cody and I went back to our hotel and visited with Pastor Steve and Anne a little longer, prayed, and decided to call it a night. Of course, I couldn't sleep much...I just kept thinking about how much our life would change in the next 24 hours. I was afraid to sleep because I wanted to make sure she was moving. I wasn't supposed to have anything to eat or drink after midnight, but I woke up around 2 AM and couldn't sleep. I went down to the hotel lobby and downed a HUGE thing of water (I was seriously so thirsty) and got on the computer down there to check some e-mail. I finally headed back up to my room around 3 and tried to get back to sleep.

The morning of the 20th we got up around 7, ate some breakfast, showered, and headed to the hospital around 10, as they wanted me checked in my 10:30. I couldn't believe we were on our way to meeting our little girl! I got checked in, walked up to L&D and was escorted to my room. After I got changed into my hospital gown, the nurse came in and hooked up the monitors. Payslie's heart was beating away, although she moved away from the monitor a few times and the nurse had to reposition it. Knowing that she was hooked up until delivery just put me at ease...the nurse got my IV started, the lab took their blood, family came in to visit, and before I knew it, it was 12:45. The anasthesiologist (sp?) came in and talked with me. I really liked her. Then Dr. Branaman came in and informed me that she would be doing my c-section (not my doctor) because as I have mentioned before, my doc was 39 weeks pregnant and they were inducing her that day. My doc was originally planning on still doing my c-section, but I overheard one of the nurses saying that there were some minor complications arising w/her pregnancy and it wouldn't be smart for her to attempt to deliver me.

Anyways, at 1 PM I was escorted into the OR. Cody and I were so nervous and excited...I can't explain the feelings I was having. Cody waited out in the hallway as I got my spinal anasthesia and they got me prepped for surgery. The blue curtain went up and in came Cody. I was very alert, although I was once again EXTREMELY thirsty. I could have downed a whole gallon of water at that moment, I swear. The doctor started the c-section and made me feel really good when she told me that I had AWESOME stomach muscles and that she and her assistants were extremely jealous. :) Then came the big moment: "You're going to feel a lot of tugging and pressure, OK?" Ok....here goes. "We've got a little butt...some feet...."...and then there it was...a quick little "Whaa...." I could hear them suctioning her and then she let loose....Her lungs were DEFINITELY mature. I can't put into words the relief, the joy, just in general, the emotion of that moment. They brought her over to my side and showed her to me and Cody and then invited Cody back behind the curtain to watch them clean her up, cut her cord, etc. Cody kept laughing at how "cheesy" (due to the vernix) she looked. I kept hearing her cry and my heart was just so filled with joy. I kept crying and thanking Jesus for giving her to us. They finished stitching me up and Cody brought over our "little burrito" to us.

Cody and Payslie went off to the nursery, while I was taken to recovery. I was really OK with that because to be honest, the anasthesia made me pretty tired and I was shaking pretty badly. My nurse called the nursery for the stats on Payslie: 6 lbs even and 19 3/8 inches long. I asked the nurse what her Apgars were and they were 9 and 9 which pleased me very much.

About 20 minutes later, they brought her into me and with me she stayed. :) She took very naturally to the breast, but as the days went by, I found that she was not latching quite as well. You would think nursing would be much easier since it's so natural....not the case though. By the time I came home from the hospital, we went and bought a pump so I could give my breasts some time to heal. That was hard for me because I really looked forward to nursing her and I didn't want to introduce a bottle so soon, but I had to do what was best for her. I was literally in tears nursing her because it hurt so bad. Fortunately, the pediatrician recommended a nipple shield to me at her doctor appointment on Wednesday, so we went and got one. It has truly saved the day and I'm now back to being able to nurse her. Yeah!

On Monday, I was released to come home from the hospital. I had such wonderful care from all of the staff, and I am truly shocked at how different this recovery has been. I know that recovery from my first c-section was not very quick because I was in a different emotional state, but I am still surprised at how much I can do right now and think that I had major abdominal surgery a little over a week ago. Crazy!

She is now a little over a week old and I am enjoying every moment with her. I've had two VERY emotional moments (probably due to pregnancy hormones) where I just broke down and sobbed looking at her. My whole pregnancy I don't think I really allowed myself to attach to her because of the loss of Brooke...I just associated everything with what I knew from Brooke. But now that she's here, I realize that she is Payslie, not Brooke... a new child to love...not to replace, but to fill part of that emptiness inside. I realized how much love I have for her and I am so thankful that God has given her to us as her parents.

Well, that's it for now. She is sleeping very peacefully and I really need to use this time to take a shower.